Tuesday 13 March 2007

The Beginning

The Holy Bedroom of the 3 Course meAl.

First Sermon

My fellows, you have gathered under one banner, worshipping that which keeps you alive, Food! Shall we recall the tale of the first food, to apply it to our lives.

In the beginning was the food, and the food was with god and the food was god.

And the food decided to make humans to feed in his plenteousness. So the first humans were made. But one day the humans came to god and said, almighty lord, we hunger for your goodness. So god gave them food to eat and water to drink, A pizza filled with Bacon, olives and peppers.

From this may we learn that if we ask god for food, he will always deliver (Within 30 Minutes or your money Back.)

The First Pizza

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast
  • 2 cups warm water (110 degrees to 115 degrees)
  • 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 4 cups all-purpose flour
  • SAUCE:
  • 2 (8 ounce) cans tomato sauce
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons grated onion
  • 1 teaspoon dried oregano
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon pepper
  • TOPPINGS:
  • 4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
  • 4 ounces Canadian bacon, diced (optional)
  • 1 (3.25 ounce) package sliced pepperoni
  • 1 medium red bell pepper, sliced
  • 1 medium green pepper, sliced
  • 1 (2.25 ounce) can sliced ripe olives, drained
  • 1 cup chopped onion
  • 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1/2 cup minced fresh basil

DIRECTIONS

  1. In a large mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Add oil, salt and 2 cups flour. Beat on medium speed for 3 minutes. Stir in enough remaining flour to form a soft dough. Turn onto a floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes. Place in a greased bowl, turning once to grease top. Cover and let rest in a warm place for 10 minutes.
  2. Combine sauce ingredients; set aside. Divide dough in half. On a floured surface, roll each portion into a 13-in. circle. Transfer to two greased 12-in. pizza pans; build up edges slightly. Bake at 375 degrees F for 15 minutes or until lightly browned. Spread with sauce; sprinkle with toppings. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until cheese is melted.

Go in Peace to Love and serve the food.

The Holy Bedroom of the 3 Course Meal.

The Holy Bedroom of the 3 Course meAl.

Meat: High God Nick burns.

PasTa: Not Quite as High God Maximilian Krupa.

PotaToES: High God James Stanley.

Fruit: APPly Now!

VegeTables: APPly Now!

Rice: APPly Now!

BreaKfasts: APPly Now!

Lunch: APPly Now!

DESSeRts: APPly Now!

The HolY WebSitEs:

http://theholybedroomofthe3coursemeal.blogspot.com

http://allrecipes.com/

The DELICIOUS COMMANDMENTS:

  1. Thou shalt not eat at 3:27 and 26 seconds in the afternoon (GMT).
  2. Thou not say the name of your meal in vain.
  3. thou Shalt not overcook thine foOD.
  4. THOU shalt not eat dog food on a Friday.
  5. thou ShalT honour thine Steak and ThINE Pudding (Not to Mention THINE Steak PuddiNG)
  6. ThoU Shalt EnTeR Thine supermarket With HonOUR.
  7. Thou Shalt Not MurDER A chef.
  8. Thou ShalT Only Eat on Days EndiNG in Y.
  9. Thou Shalt Give a Tenth-share of Thine meal to Thy mouth.
  10. A Potato for a potato, a steak for a steak.

Any who Break These CoMMAndments will receive TheiR Just Desserts.

The PastA of HealINg

Will Heal All ails

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 small yellow onion, diced
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 5 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 (16 ounce) can organic Italian diced tomatoes
  • 1 (6.5 ounce) can tomato sauce
  • 1 tablespoon capers, chopped
  • 15 kalamata olives, pitted and sliced
  • 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • crushed red pepper to taste (optional)
  • crumbled Feta or grated Parmesan Cheese

DIRECTIONS

  1. In a skillet, cook onion in olive oil over medium high heat until tender and translucent. Stir in garlic, and cook for 1 minute. Add tomatoes, tomato sauce, capers, olives, vinegar, salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper (if using).
  2. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for a minimum of 30 minutes, or up to 2 hours, time permitting. Serve over pasta, fish, or chicken, and top with crumbled feta or grated Parmesan cheese.

The ChiCkeN OF LovE

Will GeT You Laid.

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 (3 pound) whole chicken, rinsed
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1 small onion, quartered
  • 1/4 cup chopped fresh rosemary

DIRECTIONS

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  2. Season chicken with salt and pepper to taste. Stuff with the onion and rosemary. Place chicken in a 9x13 inch baking dish or roasting dish.
  3. Roast in the preheated oven for 2 to 2 1/2 hours, or until chicken is cooked through and juices run clear. Cooking time will vary a bit depending on the size of the bird.

The ChiPS of WealTh

Will Make you rich (If You Open a Chip Shop)

INGREDIENTS

  • 1/3 cup white sugar
  • 2 cups warm water
  • 2 large russet potatoes - peeled, and sliced into 1/4 inch strips
  • 6 cups vegetable oil for frying
  • salt to taste

DIRECTIONS

  1. In a medium bowl, dissolve the sugar in warm water. Soak potatoes in water mixture for 15 minutes. Remove from water, and dry thoroughly on paper towels.
  2. Heat oil in deep-fryer to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Add potatoes, and cook until golden, 5 to 6 minutes. drain on paper towels. Season with salt to taste.

On These Dishes Hang All The CookBooks and The dishes.